There was a lot of “heavy” in last week’s episode, and I didn’t include all of it here. If you watch the episode, the things to watch for that I didn’t quote are: Alaric’s pitching of his and Caroline’s school to Klaus for Hope, the entirety of the Haylijah exchange about the future, and Marcel’s impassioned speech to Davina’s tomb.
So, let’s get started, shall we?
Hope: Mom, do you hear them, too?
Klaus: What’s going on?
Hayley: Look at me. Tell me what you heard.
Hope: Voices. They said we’re connected to this. You and me.
Klaus: If this fossil has been whispering lies, I’ll gladly throw it in the river.
Alaric: You need to relax. I’m on my way to New Orleans right now and I have good news. I went through the remains of the Lockwood Estate and I found you . . . one creepy-ass, ancient finger bone.
Klaus: Your efforts are appreciated, now, if you could only pick up the pace!
Alaric: Easy, Klaus. The only reason I’m heading your way is because I don’t want you anywhere near Mystic Falls. Things tend to get murder-y when you’re around.
Klaus: Well, that’s a fair point.
Hayley: Its quiet.
Klaus: Of course its quiet, its a trap.
Klaus: Hope is a far cry from a French Quarter fortune teller. And while we’re on the subject, she’s SEVEN. If anyone wants to talk to her, they should ask my permission.
Hayley: You’re gonna be a lot of fun when she starts dating.
Klaus: I’m going to be a perfect gentleman, and should any of her suitors fail to meet my expectations, I will compel them to the priesthood.
After Klaus went all “Daddy” on anyone who should want to date or question Hope, The Harvest Girls – that Elijah killed, forcing Vincent’s hand to do the ritual connecting the witches back to their Ancestors – walk in.
Klaus: Oh, look. Harvest Girls.
Klaus: Please consider all pretense of friendship dropped.
Harvest Girl: We need your blood.
Klaus: That’s funny, I didn’t hear you say please.Klaus: Why do I think there’s something you’re not mentioning.
Harvest Girl: Only one thing. This is gonna hurt.Klaus (to Hayley): Now can I be angry at them?
Klaus: Well, this is all frightening fodder for campfire tales, but how do we kill her?
Davina: You don’t understand. You can’t.a little later, Klaus gets another dig in . . .
Klaus: Please inform the Ancestors that they are a colossal waste of my time.
Elijah: Forgive me, but, German sports car?
Marcel: Says the man in the 5,000$ suit.
Elijah: 9, if we’re counting. I’m not a barbarian.a little later
Elijah: See, that’s so very hurtful Marcellus. Here, I thought we were having a marvelous, galactic adventure together.
Marcel: You think you’re real cute, don’t you? The only reason that you invited me on this little road trip is so you could play bodyguard –
Elijah: – babysitter –
Marcel: – to keep my power from falling into the hands of The Hollow.
Sofya: Car trouble?
Alaric: Yeah, its the darnedest thing. It just died on me.
Sofya: Unless you wanna follow suit, give me the bone.
Alaric: Yeah, sorry. Some other guy called dibs. And he’s a real jerk.
Sofya: * throws Alaric with her Hollow powers *
Alaric: * laughs *
Sofya: Why are you laughing?
Alaric: Because I packed that car with C4.
Davina: She did it for fun.
Klaus: To be fair, we all have our bad days.
Davina: You think this is a joke?
Klaus: No, but it is a trifle tedious.
Klaus: And, how long, exactly am I to play battery?
Davina: You still don’t get it, do you Klaus? You’re not a battery. You’re a sacrifice.
Hope: My dad says you study this stuff.
Alaric: Yeah, that’s right. There are a lot of amazing things in the world to study. And some of them are even things that don’t want to hurt you.Alaric: It was good meeting you, littlest Mikaelson.
Klaus: I suppose I owe you thanks.
Alaric: Well, staying the Hell out of Virginia is all the thanks I need.
Klaus: Well, then, perhaps we should forgo a trip down memory lane.Alaric’s speech about the school he’s created with Caroline is something you need to see for yourself.
(please be a spin-off, please be a spin-off, please be a spin-off)Klaus: Give my regards to Mystic Falls.
(No, please go there and be with Caroline . . . please)
Haylijah shippers had a little to tear up about during this episode, too. For a moment – albeit a brief one, given the end of the episode – we could almost see it. Hayley, Elijah, and Hope in the French countryside . . . peaceful.
Hayley: What were you thinking? You can’t offer me a future, and then offer yourself up to die.
Elijah: Survival demands sacrifice.Elijah: Hope needs her father.
Hayley: I need you. I love you.Elijah: Rebekah asked me if there was somewhere I could go to be happy. Begin again. Manosque. It’s this beautiful village in the South of France, countryside.
And when we end this – and we will end this – I’ll take you there. And promise you, I will make this right.
And with that lovely little fantasy buzzing around your head, I shall take my leave of you until next time!
I wonder what snarky goodness we’ll get from 4.09?!
